[ part of eddie feels kind of stupid for being so worked up over something that's not even really new to him anyway, but then again, it's not like he's really ever had the time to stop and process everything he's had to endure since chrissy cunningham was murdered in his living room. from the second her body dropped, eddie's been moving at full speed - from hiding from the cops to hiding from an entire town, hunted down by his own classmates looking for revenge - from venturing (unwillingly!) into the upside down to offering himself as bat bait to being eaten alive in the middle of the street, to finding himself not dead, but alive in some hell dimension - there's just never been any time to cope. it feels like it's finally catching up to him, or maybe he's just too frayed at the edges anymore to try and keep himself from coming apart.
eddie squeezes his bicep, shifting his gaze away from julie and down to his sneakers. there's a dead, wet leaf stuck to the rubber toe. eddie uses the bottom of his opposite shoe to try and brush it away, just to give his brain something else to focus on for a second. ]
I thought I - [ he catches himself. ] I thought we were done with that shit. Got away from it at the very least.
[ and that feels kind of shitty to admit out loud - to be grateful that at least if vecna was still around back home, being here meant eddie wouldn't have to deal with it anymore. he tries not to think about henderson too often, about gareth and the guys, his uncle, but sometimes he wonders if they're doing okay without him, if they're safe.
eddie drags a hand over his face, forcing himself to take another deep breath. ]
I ran in 'cause I thought I could save him, you know? Take a hook from him so he'd have more time - [ he's referencing whatever weird-ass pact he seems to have with the entity, where he can claim someone else's hook states as his own. ] And as soon as I got close enough -
[ eddie shakes his head again, scraping his teeth over his bottom lip. he focuses on the weight on his shoulder, and while it's comforting, it's also kind of sobering in that eddie seems to realize, belatedly, that he really should not be here. as nice as it was to have some peace and quiet for all of - what, fifteen seconds? - and as ... strangely kind julie has been in the face of this mini meltdown, he's probably definitely crossing some boundaries.
he clears his throat, uncrosses his arms and starts to stand. ]
I, uh - I'm sorry. I really didn't mean - shit, I should go.
[ julie's eyes track his expression as he speaks, in the moments where he has to think about what he's about to say. eddie comes off so light most of the time that she forgets how fucked up just the shit she knows about is. no doubt there's more. it makes her just kind of sad for him, makes her wish she had some solution to make him feel better. but trauma isn't something you can just get rid of like that. ]
No-- no. It's fine. [ a little rushed, but she doesn't feel right just shooing him off when he's clearly in the middle of some shit. ] Nobody else is here right now, so.
[ she gestures with an awkward swing of her arm and immediately regrets it, tries not to let it show on her face. she's just always a little uncomfortable without some facade to prop her up, but they've kind of moved past "bitchy and violent" as standard, and right now certainly isn't the best time to pull that one back out. ]
I can leave you alone if you just wanna be by yourself. It's fine.
[ "it's fine" again, jesus. being nice to people is hard. ]
I don't. [ if julie's no, it's fine was rushed, then eddie's i don't leaves his mouth at near mach speed at the suggestion of being left alone. he should feel embarrassed at how quickly he declines, ashamed of the mild thread of desperation in his tone and in his eyes when he chances a quick look at julie, but instead he just feels... relieved. sure, he left the campfire because it felt too crowded and cramped and he needed some space to work through his panic and anxiety without dozens of eyes on him, but being alone is one of the last things he wants right now.
eddie sinks back down slowly onto the arm of the couch, his shoulders sagging a little as he pushes out a heavy exhale. he lifts one of his hands and rubs his palm down over the bottom half of his face and shakes his head slightly before letting his hand fall and come to rest by his thigh.
he should elaborate, probably. ] I don't... want to be alone.
[ eddie looks back down again, but it's not out of shame or embarrassment. he just feels... drained, physically and otherwise, and though the staticky, shocky feeling of anxiety is still buzzing through his veins and clouding up his chest, he can feel it slowly starting to dissipate, and the relief is exhausting. quietly, he nudges at some of the broken glass by his shoes, scattered everywhere from when he smashed a bottle against the brick fireplace not too long ago. he looks up again. ]
[ that makes something in her chest ache and julie frowns down at him. soft, empathetic, worried. but after a moment she nods, offers him a small smile and a gently amused exhale through her nose at the offer to clean up. ]
Yeah. [ it's just a little teasing. testing the waters to see how he is with that right now. ] Later though.
[ he looks exhausted and julie imagines he feels even worse, she's not gonna make him tidy up right now. even if he can't just come in here and start smashing bottles and then leave. for the moment, he just needs somewhere safe and calm and that's here apparently, and that confuses the hell out of julie but at least it's something she thinks she can provide. she's at least mildly confused by things with eddie at all times anyway, she can handle it. ]
[ gently, julie nudges him toward the actual couch with the hand on his shoulder ] I'll stay with you.
[ ending up in a killer's realm while seeking out someplace safe to pull his shit together should strike eddie as odd, but the absurdity of it doesn't really cross his mind beyond the understanding that he's trespassing, and that if anyone else but julie were here, he would most certainly not be welcomed. it's something for him to think about later, once he's returned to his own turf, so to speak, but for now he's appreciative of the calm quietness ormond provides.
the gentle teasing earns a soft exhale and a faint smile from eddie, and when julie attempts to guide him to sit properly on the couch, he goes easily, turning slightly and sliding from the arm down to the cushions. though it's not luxurious or plush by any means, eddie sinks into it, and for the first time since he stumbled in here, he takes a deep breath and then breathes it back out nice and slow. he drags both of his hands down his face, and tries not to think about - whatever the fuck that girl is anymore. focuses on the subtle warmth from the fireplace instead, and how quiet the lodge is when there isn't a generator hissing away or echoing screams in the distance as fellow survivors are injured and hooked.
it's kinda nice, actually. though most things probably are when you spend all your time huddled around a campfire and sleeping in the woods.
idly, he picks at the front of his shirt with one hand, pulling it up from where it's stuck to him a bit, still a little tacky with mostly-dried blood. he probably should have cleaned up when he got back to camp, but that's another thing that hadn't crossed his mind until now. ah, well. he glances at julie, feeling tired but grateful for her company, even if he had to come in swinging and nearly hyperventilating to get it. ]
Threegion's not gonna come back and go all - [ he raises a hand, curls his hand into a loose fist and makes a couple lazy stabbing motions before dropping his hand again, ] - on me for being here, are they?
[ when he slides down onto the couch, julie moves around the other side of him to sit, curls a leg under herself with a small sigh as she sinks into the cushions. it's old, worn down, but the entity's insistence on keeping the realms semi-static keeps that quality sort of comfy instead of the cushions wearing down into nothing. ]
[ she picks at a loose thread on one of those cushions, stares down at her hand to stop herself from watching eddie creepily to try and figure out how he's doing. though she does look up at him at the question. ]
Nah. [ she shakes her head. ] Might give me shit about it, but that's all.
[ and she's fine with that actually, even if it means admitting she's being a massive hypocrite right now. better that then turfing eddie out to have a whole meltdown god knows where. ]
[ aside from looking incredibly exhausted all of the sudden, eddie also looks somewhat surprised by julie's comment. he can't imagine anyone giving julie shit, not in any way that's meant to be serious - it's why he refers to her as legion and the rest as threegion, after all (and also because it's funny to him and always will be funny to him but that's beside the point). out of the four of them (and hunk), she just seems the most put together.
eddie sinks a little more into the couch, turns his head slightly to look at julie, then looks down at himself. at his body that looks like it's melting into the cushions. he plucks at his shirt again, then looks back up at her, smile faint and a little tired. ]
... Well. If it'll help, you can tell 'em you stabbed me.
[ ha ha. you know. because he's wearing someone else's blood, and if you don't look hard enough you can barely even tell that it's not his. ]
I'm not going to tell them that. [ it's good-natured, she rolls her eyes when she says it. ] They can just deal.
[ as she says that, she turns a little toward him, leaning against the back of the couch, and reaches out a hand little hesitantly to touch his shirt, frowning. though her expression relaxes a little when she realises most of that blood isn't his. ]
[ when julie reaches out toward him, eddie doesn't flinch or lean away, but he does tense up a little bit, unsure of her intention. it's subtle, and mostly contained to his torso - there are dozens and dozens of ugly scars hidden under his clothes, and he'd prefer that they stay that way for many reasons, so it's instinct to want to shy away from anyone who gets too close these days. especially people who just - don't know about what happened to him back home.
but julie just touches his shirt and it really seems to dawn on eddie in that moment that he really must look like a goddamn horror show. he knows he's basically painted red, and it's not the first time his clothes have been stuck to him with his or someone else's blood, but it's the first time he's really stopped to consider what it looks like to someone else. outside of a trial, where it doesn't really feel all that out of place, considering.
eddie wets his lips and looks up from her hand at his shirt, his voice quiet. ] It's, uh... not mine. [ well. ] Most of it.
[ a lot of it is leon's. after that girl snapped him ten way to fucking sunday and left him there, eddie had found whatever fucking courage he could muster and swooped in to see if there was anything he could do to help him, panic and fear choking him up as he dragged his body into his lap and begged him to get up, promised him he was gonna be okay, knowing in the back of his mind that leon wouldn't be getting back up again. not until everyone else was dead, or someone got the gates open and the entity called for the end. ]
[ she's seen eddie bloodied up countless times at this point, it shouldn't stand out to her, and yet here julie is frowning at the thought of whatever happened to him in that trial. it's different outside a trial, it's real then. she trails her fingertips on along the outline of one of those bloodstains. ]
We've got a bathroom if you want-- [ wait. she gasps suddenly and sits up straight. ] I've got something for you. Just-- stay there.
[ despite the situation, she looks a little excited as she pulls herself up off the couch. about to rush off back to her room unless eddie protests. ]
[ eddie's already confused enough about there being a bathroom ( of course there's a bathroom, what kind of ski lodge wouldn't have a fucking bathroom? it's probably behind one of those locked doors nobody can ever get through during a trial ) that julie supposedly having something for him just - confuses him even more. he doesn't protest, just looks at her with pinched brows and very mild uncertainty. curiosity, too. what the hell could someone possibly have for him here?
eddie blinks at her, still absently picking at the front of his shirt, stiff and tacky. ]
[ she's only gone a few minutes, long enough to dig around in the bedroom for the sweater she finally did actually make for him, a brief smile on her face when she thinks about frank making fun of her when she ruined two other shirts trying to get this right, and comes back out. ]
[ she briefly thinks about telling eddie to close his eyes so she can surprise him with it, but what actually happens is-- ] Hey, catch. [ julie balls up the sweater and throws it at his head from the balcony. ]
[ while julie's gone, eddie takes a minute to just - look around the place, for once. he's been here a handful of times before, but never outside of a trial, and never without the threat death hot on his heels, never with nothing to do to make sure nobody dies. he's never had the time (or the desire, honestly) to pay attention to the smaller details - like the fact that there's a whole-ass bar here. he's climbed through that window who knows how many times, and it's just - never registered to him until now.
there's plenty of other shit he's noticed before now, but has never really thought too hard about. skis, for instance, but there's no mountain nearby that he knows of, so - on theme, but kind of pointless otherwise.
julie's not gone for long, and eddie looks up at the sound of her footsteps from up above him, and just barely reacts in time to fling a hand out to catch the ball of fabric she hurls at him. it's quite obvious that it's a shirt, which only confuses him more because julie mad it sound like she had something specifically for him, and not just like - a logical replacement for his mucked up shirt, but. he's not gonna complain.
eddie sits stands up, starts to shake out the shirt, and pauses when he finally gets a look at the front of it. it's - the fucking DARE shirt they joked about. eddie can't help but laugh at it, quiet but genuine as he holds it out in front of him. he looks up at julie again after a moment, and he says, like an idiot: ]
... You made me a shirt.
[ because it's too specific to be something she just happened to find somewhere in one of the realms. ]
[ and maybe it took a while of julie huffing and puffing over one wrecked shirt before frank pointed out to her that ormond is literally full of bags of luggage and there's probably shirts in there that she could use, don't worry about it. what's important is the way julie smiles, bright and wide at the look on eddie's face when he holds up the shirt. ]
[ she comes back down the stairs and throws herself down on the couch next to eddie, sitting sideways again so she can face him, and pulls a foot up on the couch. ]
So if you want to get cleaned up or whatever, you've got a clean shirt to change into.
[ eddie gently balls the shirt up in his hands again, still kind of genuinely surprised that julie followed through on a dumb joke. not that eddie didn't have plans to make her a shirt too, once he got his hands on all the right shit (stealing harrington's green sweater was also not a joke), but it's just - surprising. and nice, even if eddie's kind of iffy on the bleach-dye, but only because he's just - never really worn anything like it before.
when julie sits again and tells him he's free to clean up, eddie hesitates for a second, then lets go of the shirt with one hand to kind of gesture in two different directions with a finger. ]
Where's, uh...?
[ the bathroom. where is the bathroom. ]
Edited (maybe it is bed time) 2023-01-03 22:47 (UTC)
[ of course he wouldn't know where the bathrooms are, they can't get to them in trials, she doesn't know why so don't ask. she twists in her seat and points out a door by one of the flights of stairs, (and, uh. the giant fucking hole in the wall. great joke from the entity putting the hole next to the shower.) ]
It's kinda cramped, but it's a shower.
[ she says that much with a slightly awkward laugh, oddly self-conscious about the whole thing suddenly. it's kind of dim and dingy in there, but they keep it clean and uncluttered — julie would kill everyone if they didn't — and there's a bathtub with a shower, and a sink. and it's got surprisingly more headroom than one might expect, which is probably why that's the one with the shower. ]
[ the last time eddie had a proper shower was— well, he can't remember, honestly. probably the same morning everything went to shit back home - you know, when a cheerleader came to him looking for some relief and ended up dead in the middle of his living room. washing off in the lake is... fine. it gets the job done as far as cleaning off blood and guts and sometimes vomit, but the possibility of an actual shower feels like a dream.
eddie nods his head once, then somewhat awkwardly gets up. he murmurs a quiet be right back, and then he's off with his new shirt in the direction of the bathroom, closing the door behind him.
it's weird, once inside. eddie stands there, staring at the door like he doesn't know what to do with himself, shirt still clutched in one hand. after a moment, he turns around on his heels, and startles a little at his own reflection in the mirror above the sink. eddie averts his eyes quickly, not interested in seeing himself covered in someone else's blood. not interested in knowing what he might have looked like to anyone who might have found him back home, if anyone even found him at all. to this day, eddie still feels sick and guilty every time he thinks about henderson's stupid crying face hovering above him.
gritting his teeth a little, eddie drapes his clean shirt over the edge of the sink and then turns away from the mirror slightly so he can peel his jacket and his bloodied shirt off. now that he's alone, it's easy to kind of backslide a little, his thoughts drifting back to the trial. to leon, and the girl who just - fucking folded him up like paper before dropping him like - well, like dead weight. eddie takes a deep, shaking breath and turns back to the sink, purposely avoiding looking at his own reflection. he moves the clean shirt out of the way, then turns on the sink and shoves his hellfire shirt under the water, watching the water turn a rusty brownish-pink color as the blood starts to come out of it and swirl down the drain.
a minute ago, a shower sounded like a goddamn miracle, but now eddie's not sure he has the energy for it. if he deserves a luxury like that when people are dead. in the end, he skips the shower entirely. rinses and wrings out his club shirt so he can use it as a washcloth, wiping and dabbing as much of the dried blood off of his skin as he can. when he's done, he wrings his shirt out again, turns off the sink, and reaches for his new shirt. it's such a stupid thing, but it does make him laugh a little, a quiet breath escaping through his nose as he pulls it on.
even all cleaned up, eddie does not look at himself. he takes his wet shirt and his jacket and about five minutes after slinking off, eddie steps out of the bathroom. he clears his throat, slowly making his way back toward the couch, and the fireplace. ]
Is it, uh. Is it cool if I like - drape this? To dry.
[ his hellfire shirt, he means, lifting his hand and giving it a little shake just in case it's not clear. ]
[ julie watches a little pensively as eddie heads to the bathroom, the weird urge to call out and ask if he needs help strikes when the door closes behind him and she rolls her eyes at herself. help with what? he's grown, she's pretty sure the guy knows how to wash himself. her mother's voice rolls around in the back of her head, telling her it's just good manners for a host to offer to help their guest and berating her for not offering to make him a coffee or some shit like this is just a normal day in a normal place and she didn't find the guy halfway having a panic attack in a broken down ski lodge. ]
[ a minute or two of staring at the bathroom door like a creep passes and julie eventually makes herself get up, takes herself upstairs to grab a pack of cigarettes and a lighter and drops down onto the couch when she comes back. all of it is really just ways to keep her mind occupied and off the fact that having someone here makes her more anxious than she would've expected, but that's probably all there is to it. just don't think too hard on it. ]
[ she's curled into the corner of the couch that eddie had been in when he comes out of the bathroom sooner than expected, and julie looks over, unable to hide the little smile seeing him in that stupid shirt puts on her face. ]
Uh-- sure. Yeah.
[ she gestures to the fireplace and the space around it like he needs help finding it. excellent job, jules. ]
[ with julie's permission, eddie moves along the side of the couch, stepping over the broken glass from the bottle he shattered when he first got here and thought there was a good chance he was about to be attacked. he makes a mental note to pick all of that up at some point before he leaves, and drapes his damp shirt over one of the short wooden posts protruding from the brick above the fire grating, out of the way but hopefully close enough that the heat'll dry it.
when he turns back, eddie leaves his jacket over the back of the couch, and he's only semi-awkward for a second or two before he sits back down on the couch with julie, taking up the opposite side. not quite in the corner, but not quite in the middle and all up in julie's space. he sinks down a little, sagging into the cushions much like he had been before, but this time he seems a little bit more comfortable now that he's not wearing someone else's blood.
eddie lulls his head to look at julie, notes the cigarettes in her hand, and puts his own hand out. he curls his fingers, silently asking for one. ]
Not a bad job.
[ he says about the shirt, smiling at her a little. he still looks... very tired, but the melt down from earlier is mostly behind him for now. ]
[ so he didn't shower. there's no way anyone with that much hair could be anything other than absolutely soaked if they did, but he looks better at least. or maybe it's just the lack of blood covering him now, but that's an improvement too. ]
[ her eyes track over his face, trying to figure out how he's feeling right now, and she leans toward him to hand over the pack and a lighter. ]
I'm glad you think so, because you're actually contractually obliged to love it actually.
Contractually obligated, huh. [ his eyebrows lift, and he pauses with his hand on the cigarettes, the crushed paper connecting the two of them. eddie laughs a little under his breath, the corners of his mouth pulling with a half smile.
truthfully, it's a really dope shirt, though half of the reason he likes it at all is because it's an inside joke between them. the other half is because it's hand made - because she put in the effort to bring a dumb joke to life, when she was not contractually obligated to do so. he says it's not a bad job, but he's pretty pleased.
eddie slides the lighter and the cigarettes out of her hand, bringing the pack up to his face so he can pluck one free with his mouth. he hands the cigarettes back, gets his own lit in two attempts and then holds the lighter back out to her as well. finally, he turns a little sideways so he's facing julie, lifting his arm a bit so he can rest it along the back of the couch.
he inhales a cloud of smoke, tilts his chin down and to the side a bit to exhale away from them, then wets his lips before he looks back up. he leans his cheek against his arm, blinks a bit sleepily. ] I don't remember signing shit.
[ he smiles, lazy and teasing. ]
Guess it doesn't matter though. [ and then, quieter. ] I do kinda love it.
"actually contractually obliged to love it actually" why
[ there's a joke about signing in blood that makes it all the way to the tip of julie's tongue before she catches it, but she does and swallows it back down with an inhale of smoke. which is honestly pretty good for her, she doesn't often catch those jokes before she says them these days. ]
[ which is good, because it means she hears eddie says he kinda loves it and that makes julie smile. wide and stupid for a moment, and she turns her head to look away for a moment while she wills the heat on her face not to turn into a blush because she'd really hate to kill eddie in his new shirt. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
not that long enough? one day. ONE DAY i'll make some goddamn sense
eddie squeezes his bicep, shifting his gaze away from julie and down to his sneakers. there's a dead, wet leaf stuck to the rubber toe. eddie uses the bottom of his opposite shoe to try and brush it away, just to give his brain something else to focus on for a second. ]
I thought I - [ he catches himself. ] I thought we were done with that shit. Got away from it at the very least.
[ and that feels kind of shitty to admit out loud - to be grateful that at least if vecna was still around back home, being here meant eddie wouldn't have to deal with it anymore. he tries not to think about henderson too often, about gareth and the guys, his uncle, but sometimes he wonders if they're doing okay without him, if they're safe.
eddie drags a hand over his face, forcing himself to take another deep breath. ]
I ran in 'cause I thought I could save him, you know? Take a hook from him so he'd have more time - [ he's referencing whatever weird-ass pact he seems to have with the entity, where he can claim someone else's hook states as his own. ] And as soon as I got close enough -
[ eddie shakes his head again, scraping his teeth over his bottom lip. he focuses on the weight on his shoulder, and while it's comforting, it's also kind of sobering in that eddie seems to realize, belatedly, that he really should not be here. as nice as it was to have some peace and quiet for all of - what, fifteen seconds? - and as ... strangely kind julie has been in the face of this mini meltdown, he's probably definitely crossing some boundaries.
he clears his throat, uncrosses his arms and starts to stand. ]
I, uh - I'm sorry. I really didn't mean - shit, I should go.
no you won't
No-- no. It's fine. [ a little rushed, but she doesn't feel right just shooing him off when he's clearly in the middle of some shit. ] Nobody else is here right now, so.
[ she gestures with an awkward swing of her arm and immediately regrets it, tries not to let it show on her face. she's just always a little uncomfortable without some facade to prop her up, but they've kind of moved past "bitchy and violent" as standard, and right now certainly isn't the best time to pull that one back out. ]
I can leave you alone if you just wanna be by yourself. It's fine.
[ "it's fine" again, jesus. being nice to people is hard. ]
how the fuck has it been two weeks
eddie sinks back down slowly onto the arm of the couch, his shoulders sagging a little as he pushes out a heavy exhale. he lifts one of his hands and rubs his palm down over the bottom half of his face and shakes his head slightly before letting his hand fall and come to rest by his thigh.
he should elaborate, probably. ] I don't... want to be alone.
[ eddie looks back down again, but it's not out of shame or embarrassment. he just feels... drained, physically and otherwise, and though the staticky, shocky feeling of anxiety is still buzzing through his veins and clouding up his chest, he can feel it slowly starting to dissipate, and the relief is exhausting. quietly, he nudges at some of the broken glass by his shoes, scattered everywhere from when he smashed a bottle against the brick fireplace not too long ago. he looks up again. ]
... I'll clean that up.
don't lie to me like that
Yeah. [ it's just a little teasing. testing the waters to see how he is with that right now. ] Later though.
[ he looks exhausted and julie imagines he feels even worse, she's not gonna make him tidy up right now. even if he can't just come in here and start smashing bottles and then leave. for the moment, he just needs somewhere safe and calm and that's here apparently, and that confuses the hell out of julie but at least it's something she thinks she can provide. she's at least mildly confused by things with eddie at all times anyway, she can handle it. ]
[ gently, julie nudges him toward the actual couch with the hand on his shoulder ] I'll stay with you.
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the gentle teasing earns a soft exhale and a faint smile from eddie, and when julie attempts to guide him to sit properly on the couch, he goes easily, turning slightly and sliding from the arm down to the cushions. though it's not luxurious or plush by any means, eddie sinks into it, and for the first time since he stumbled in here, he takes a deep breath and then breathes it back out nice and slow. he drags both of his hands down his face, and tries not to think about - whatever the fuck that girl is anymore. focuses on the subtle warmth from the fireplace instead, and how quiet the lodge is when there isn't a generator hissing away or echoing screams in the distance as fellow survivors are injured and hooked.
it's kinda nice, actually. though most things probably are when you spend all your time huddled around a campfire and sleeping in the woods.
idly, he picks at the front of his shirt with one hand, pulling it up from where it's stuck to him a bit, still a little tacky with mostly-dried blood. he probably should have cleaned up when he got back to camp, but that's another thing that hadn't crossed his mind until now. ah, well. he glances at julie, feeling tired but grateful for her company, even if he had to come in swinging and nearly hyperventilating to get it. ]
Threegion's not gonna come back and go all - [ he raises a hand, curls his hand into a loose fist and makes a couple lazy stabbing motions before dropping his hand again, ] - on me for being here, are they?
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[ she picks at a loose thread on one of those cushions, stares down at her hand to stop herself from watching eddie creepily to try and figure out how he's doing. though she does look up at him at the question. ]
Nah. [ she shakes her head. ] Might give me shit about it, but that's all.
[ and she's fine with that actually, even if it means admitting she's being a massive hypocrite right now. better that then turfing eddie out to have a whole meltdown god knows where. ]
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eddie sinks a little more into the couch, turns his head slightly to look at julie, then looks down at himself. at his body that looks like it's melting into the cushions. he plucks at his shirt again, then looks back up at her, smile faint and a little tired. ]
... Well. If it'll help, you can tell 'em you stabbed me.
[ ha ha. you know. because he's wearing someone else's blood, and if you don't look hard enough you can barely even tell that it's not his. ]
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[ as she says that, she turns a little toward him, leaning against the back of the couch, and reaches out a hand little hesitantly to touch his shirt, frowning. though her expression relaxes a little when she realises most of that blood isn't his. ]
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but julie just touches his shirt and it really seems to dawn on eddie in that moment that he really must look like a goddamn horror show. he knows he's basically painted red, and it's not the first time his clothes have been stuck to him with his or someone else's blood, but it's the first time he's really stopped to consider what it looks like to someone else. outside of a trial, where it doesn't really feel all that out of place, considering.
eddie wets his lips and looks up from her hand at his shirt, his voice quiet. ] It's, uh... not mine. [ well. ] Most of it.
[ a lot of it is leon's. after that girl snapped him ten way to fucking sunday and left him there, eddie had found whatever fucking courage he could muster and swooped in to see if there was anything he could do to help him, panic and fear choking him up as he dragged his body into his lap and begged him to get up, promised him he was gonna be okay, knowing in the back of his mind that leon wouldn't be getting back up again. not until everyone else was dead, or someone got the gates open and the entity called for the end. ]
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We've got a bathroom if you want-- [ wait. she gasps suddenly and sits up straight. ] I've got something for you. Just-- stay there.
[ despite the situation, she looks a little excited as she pulls herself up off the couch. about to rush off back to her room unless eddie protests. ]
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eddie blinks at her, still absently picking at the front of his shirt, stiff and tacky. ]
O... kay? Okay.
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[ she briefly thinks about telling eddie to close his eyes so she can surprise him with it, but what actually happens is-- ] Hey, catch. [ julie balls up the sweater and throws it at his head from the balcony. ]
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there's plenty of other shit he's noticed before now, but has never really thought too hard about. skis, for instance, but there's no mountain nearby that he knows of, so - on theme, but kind of pointless otherwise.
julie's not gone for long, and eddie looks up at the sound of her footsteps from up above him, and just barely reacts in time to fling a hand out to catch the ball of fabric she hurls at him. it's quite obvious that it's a shirt, which only confuses him more because julie mad it sound like she had something specifically for him, and not just like - a logical replacement for his mucked up shirt, but. he's not gonna complain.
eddie sits stands up, starts to shake out the shirt, and pauses when he finally gets a look at the front of it. it's - the fucking DARE shirt they joked about. eddie can't help but laugh at it, quiet but genuine as he holds it out in front of him. he looks up at julie again after a moment, and he says, like an idiot: ]
... You made me a shirt.
[ because it's too specific to be something she just happened to find somewhere in one of the realms. ]
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[ and maybe it took a while of julie huffing and puffing over one wrecked shirt before frank pointed out to her that ormond is literally full of bags of luggage and there's probably shirts in there that she could use, don't worry about it. what's important is the way julie smiles, bright and wide at the look on eddie's face when he holds up the shirt. ]
[ she comes back down the stairs and throws herself down on the couch next to eddie, sitting sideways again so she can face him, and pulls a foot up on the couch. ]
So if you want to get cleaned up or whatever, you've got a clean shirt to change into.
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when julie sits again and tells him he's free to clean up, eddie hesitates for a second, then lets go of the shirt with one hand to kind of gesture in two different directions with a finger. ]
Where's, uh...?
[ the bathroom. where is the bathroom. ]
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[ of course he wouldn't know where the bathrooms are, they can't get to them in trials, she doesn't know why so don't ask. she twists in her seat and points out a door by one of the flights of stairs, (and, uh. the giant fucking hole in the wall. great joke from the entity putting the hole next to the shower.) ]
It's kinda cramped, but it's a shower.
[ she says that much with a slightly awkward laugh, oddly self-conscious about the whole thing suddenly. it's kind of dim and dingy in there, but they keep it clean and uncluttered — julie would kill everyone if they didn't — and there's a bathtub with a shower, and a sink. and it's got surprisingly more headroom than one might expect, which is probably why that's the one with the shower. ]
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eddie nods his head once, then somewhat awkwardly gets up. he murmurs a quiet be right back, and then he's off with his new shirt in the direction of the bathroom, closing the door behind him.
it's weird, once inside. eddie stands there, staring at the door like he doesn't know what to do with himself, shirt still clutched in one hand. after a moment, he turns around on his heels, and startles a little at his own reflection in the mirror above the sink. eddie averts his eyes quickly, not interested in seeing himself covered in someone else's blood. not interested in knowing what he might have looked like to anyone who might have found him back home, if anyone even found him at all. to this day, eddie still feels sick and guilty every time he thinks about henderson's stupid crying face hovering above him.
gritting his teeth a little, eddie drapes his clean shirt over the edge of the sink and then turns away from the mirror slightly so he can peel his jacket and his bloodied shirt off. now that he's alone, it's easy to kind of backslide a little, his thoughts drifting back to the trial. to leon, and the girl who just - fucking folded him up like paper before dropping him like - well, like dead weight. eddie takes a deep, shaking breath and turns back to the sink, purposely avoiding looking at his own reflection. he moves the clean shirt out of the way, then turns on the sink and shoves his hellfire shirt under the water, watching the water turn a rusty brownish-pink color as the blood starts to come out of it and swirl down the drain.
a minute ago, a shower sounded like a goddamn miracle, but now eddie's not sure he has the energy for it. if he deserves a luxury like that when people are dead. in the end, he skips the shower entirely. rinses and wrings out his club shirt so he can use it as a washcloth, wiping and dabbing as much of the dried blood off of his skin as he can. when he's done, he wrings his shirt out again, turns off the sink, and reaches for his new shirt. it's such a stupid thing, but it does make him laugh a little, a quiet breath escaping through his nose as he pulls it on.
even all cleaned up, eddie does not look at himself. he takes his wet shirt and his jacket and about five minutes after slinking off, eddie steps out of the bathroom. he clears his throat, slowly making his way back toward the couch, and the fireplace. ]
Is it, uh. Is it cool if I like - drape this? To dry.
[ his hellfire shirt, he means, lifting his hand and giving it a little shake just in case it's not clear. ]
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[ a minute or two of staring at the bathroom door like a creep passes and julie eventually makes herself get up, takes herself upstairs to grab a pack of cigarettes and a lighter and drops down onto the couch when she comes back. all of it is really just ways to keep her mind occupied and off the fact that having someone here makes her more anxious than she would've expected, but that's probably all there is to it. just don't think too hard on it. ]
[ she's curled into the corner of the couch that eddie had been in when he comes out of the bathroom sooner than expected, and julie looks over, unable to hide the little smile seeing him in that stupid shirt puts on her face. ]
Uh-- sure. Yeah.
[ she gestures to the fireplace and the space around it like he needs help finding it. excellent job, jules. ]
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when he turns back, eddie leaves his jacket over the back of the couch, and he's only semi-awkward for a second or two before he sits back down on the couch with julie, taking up the opposite side. not quite in the corner, but not quite in the middle and all up in julie's space. he sinks down a little, sagging into the cushions much like he had been before, but this time he seems a little bit more comfortable now that he's not wearing someone else's blood.
eddie lulls his head to look at julie, notes the cigarettes in her hand, and puts his own hand out. he curls his fingers, silently asking for one. ]
Not a bad job.
[ he says about the shirt, smiling at her a little. he still looks... very tired, but the melt down from earlier is mostly behind him for now. ]
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[ her eyes track over his face, trying to figure out how he's feeling right now, and she leans toward him to hand over the pack and a lighter. ]
I'm glad you think so, because you're actually contractually obliged to love it actually.
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truthfully, it's a really dope shirt, though half of the reason he likes it at all is because it's an inside joke between them. the other half is because it's hand made - because she put in the effort to bring a dumb joke to life, when she was not contractually obligated to do so. he says it's not a bad job, but he's pretty pleased.
eddie slides the lighter and the cigarettes out of her hand, bringing the pack up to his face so he can pluck one free with his mouth. he hands the cigarettes back, gets his own lit in two attempts and then holds the lighter back out to her as well. finally, he turns a little sideways so he's facing julie, lifting his arm a bit so he can rest it along the back of the couch.
he inhales a cloud of smoke, tilts his chin down and to the side a bit to exhale away from them, then wets his lips before he looks back up. he leans his cheek against his arm, blinks a bit sleepily. ] I don't remember signing shit.
[ he smiles, lazy and teasing. ]
Guess it doesn't matter though. [ and then, quieter. ] I do kinda love it.
"actually contractually obliged to love it actually" why
[ which is good, because it means she hears eddie says he kinda loves it and that makes julie smile. wide and stupid for a moment, and she turns her head to look away for a moment while she wills the heat on her face not to turn into a blush because she'd really hate to kill eddie in his new shirt. ]
... Good. [ ahem ]