[ part of eddie feels kind of stupid for being so worked up over something that's not even really new to him anyway, but then again, it's not like he's really ever had the time to stop and process everything he's had to endure since chrissy cunningham was murdered in his living room. from the second her body dropped, eddie's been moving at full speed - from hiding from the cops to hiding from an entire town, hunted down by his own classmates looking for revenge - from venturing (unwillingly!) into the upside down to offering himself as bat bait to being eaten alive in the middle of the street, to finding himself not dead, but alive in some hell dimension - there's just never been any time to cope. it feels like it's finally catching up to him, or maybe he's just too frayed at the edges anymore to try and keep himself from coming apart.
eddie squeezes his bicep, shifting his gaze away from julie and down to his sneakers. there's a dead, wet leaf stuck to the rubber toe. eddie uses the bottom of his opposite shoe to try and brush it away, just to give his brain something else to focus on for a second. ]
I thought I - [ he catches himself. ] I thought we were done with that shit. Got away from it at the very least.
[ and that feels kind of shitty to admit out loud - to be grateful that at least if vecna was still around back home, being here meant eddie wouldn't have to deal with it anymore. he tries not to think about henderson too often, about gareth and the guys, his uncle, but sometimes he wonders if they're doing okay without him, if they're safe.
eddie drags a hand over his face, forcing himself to take another deep breath. ]
I ran in 'cause I thought I could save him, you know? Take a hook from him so he'd have more time - [ he's referencing whatever weird-ass pact he seems to have with the entity, where he can claim someone else's hook states as his own. ] And as soon as I got close enough -
[ eddie shakes his head again, scraping his teeth over his bottom lip. he focuses on the weight on his shoulder, and while it's comforting, it's also kind of sobering in that eddie seems to realize, belatedly, that he really should not be here. as nice as it was to have some peace and quiet for all of - what, fifteen seconds? - and as ... strangely kind julie has been in the face of this mini meltdown, he's probably definitely crossing some boundaries.
he clears his throat, uncrosses his arms and starts to stand. ]
I, uh - I'm sorry. I really didn't mean - shit, I should go.
not that long enough? one day. ONE DAY i'll make some goddamn sense
eddie squeezes his bicep, shifting his gaze away from julie and down to his sneakers. there's a dead, wet leaf stuck to the rubber toe. eddie uses the bottom of his opposite shoe to try and brush it away, just to give his brain something else to focus on for a second. ]
I thought I - [ he catches himself. ] I thought we were done with that shit. Got away from it at the very least.
[ and that feels kind of shitty to admit out loud - to be grateful that at least if vecna was still around back home, being here meant eddie wouldn't have to deal with it anymore. he tries not to think about henderson too often, about gareth and the guys, his uncle, but sometimes he wonders if they're doing okay without him, if they're safe.
eddie drags a hand over his face, forcing himself to take another deep breath. ]
I ran in 'cause I thought I could save him, you know? Take a hook from him so he'd have more time - [ he's referencing whatever weird-ass pact he seems to have with the entity, where he can claim someone else's hook states as his own. ] And as soon as I got close enough -
[ eddie shakes his head again, scraping his teeth over his bottom lip. he focuses on the weight on his shoulder, and while it's comforting, it's also kind of sobering in that eddie seems to realize, belatedly, that he really should not be here. as nice as it was to have some peace and quiet for all of - what, fifteen seconds? - and as ... strangely kind julie has been in the face of this mini meltdown, he's probably definitely crossing some boundaries.
he clears his throat, uncrosses his arms and starts to stand. ]
I, uh - I'm sorry. I really didn't mean - shit, I should go.